Home Alone 2: the movie review
i loved this movie. it stars kevin again. his parents are so befuddled all the time. it cracks me up when he gets those burglars. i suggest renting the 2 tape vhs edition cause it has 6 alternate endings (all involve rape).
content warning: there's a bum that fornicates with birds
i loved this movie. it stars kevin again. his parents are so befuddled all the time. it cracks me up when he gets those burglars. i suggest renting the 2 tape vhs edition cause it has 6 alternate endings (all involve rape).
content warning: there's a bum that fornicates with birds
Harry and the Hendersons
i loved this movie. it's all about a family that finds a giant monkey. it's also a tv show called 3rd rock from the sun. the giant monkey is really authentic cause he's made with cgi. i read that it took 5000 animated gifs to make just his mouth move. i'm glad john lithgow did such good special effects on his dell computer. buy this movie at your local blockbuster or funcoland.
content warning: when the family goes camping they see a bigfoot that might be scary to younger viewers.
i loved this movie. it's all about a family that finds a giant monkey. it's also a tv show called 3rd rock from the sun. the giant monkey is really authentic cause he's made with cgi. i read that it took 5000 animated gifs to make just his mouth move. i'm glad john lithgow did such good special effects on his dell computer. buy this movie at your local blockbuster or funcoland.
content warning: when the family goes camping they see a bigfoot that might be scary to younger viewers.
Look Who's Talking Too
i loved this movie. it's about how hard it is to teach a baby to not go to the bathroom on the floor. they even sing a song that goes "you gotta fight for ur right to POTTY". it's a beastie boys song that john travolta co-wrote. bruce willis plays a baby and he looks so young. i'm pretty sure john lithgow did the special effects. don't watch this movie while eating cause all of the food from your mouth will spill out from laughing!
fun fact: john travolta and bruce willis travolta are brothers in real life.
i loved this movie. it's about how hard it is to teach a baby to not go to the bathroom on the floor. they even sing a song that goes "you gotta fight for ur right to POTTY". it's a beastie boys song that john travolta co-wrote. bruce willis plays a baby and he looks so young. i'm pretty sure john lithgow did the special effects. don't watch this movie while eating cause all of the food from your mouth will spill out from laughing!
fun fact: john travolta and bruce willis travolta are brothers in real life.
Back to the Future
i loved this movie. it's about a boy named farty that finds a crazy old man with a time machine. he goes back in time and makes out with his mom. i liked the part where the bully gets covered in feces. this movie stars michael j wolverine and cripsin mittener. try to order the dvd of this movie cause it's very rare.
fun fact: this movie was made in the 1980's.
i loved this movie. it's about a boy named farty that finds a crazy old man with a time machine. he goes back in time and makes out with his mom. i liked the part where the bully gets covered in feces. this movie stars michael j wolverine and cripsin mittener. try to order the dvd of this movie cause it's very rare.
fun fact: this movie was made in the 1980's.
Weekend at Bernie's 2: The New Batch
i loved this movie. there are these two guys that take their bernie on a tropical vacation to pick up chicks. they get major babe points by putting a voodoo spell on their bernie to make him macarena 24/7. bernie is still and hilarious and i love it when people think he's alive (he's dead). this is by far my favorite movie about necrophilia!
content warning: 1 ghost in bernie's mustache
i loved this movie. there are these two guys that take their bernie on a tropical vacation to pick up chicks. they get major babe points by putting a voodoo spell on their bernie to make him macarena 24/7. bernie is still and hilarious and i love it when people think he's alive (he's dead). this is by far my favorite movie about necrophilia!
content warning: 1 ghost in bernie's mustache
Turner and Hooch and K-9 and Kuffs
I loved this movie. it's about how tom hanks, john belushi and christian slater are all cops. they get a new partner: a dog! they all hate the dog and end up killing it by throwing a steak at a burglar. before they murder the dog, they all become friends and suck on chilli dogs outside the tastey freeze. i would recommend this movie for people who hate dogs at first, then love them, then murder them.
fun fact: this is the first movie that was made about a cop and a dog!
I loved this movie. it's about how tom hanks, john belushi and christian slater are all cops. they get a new partner: a dog! they all hate the dog and end up killing it by throwing a steak at a burglar. before they murder the dog, they all become friends and suck on chilli dogs outside the tastey freeze. i would recommend this movie for people who hate dogs at first, then love them, then murder them.
fun fact: this is the first movie that was made about a cop and a dog!
The Karate Kid
i loved this movie. it's about how fresh princes son gets beat up. then he meets an asian pedophile who's into famous peoples kids. in exchanged for getting molested, the fresh prince of bell aires son learns how to be the "karate kid". i really liked this movie cause i would love meet the fresh prince.
content warning: the fresh prince isn't in this movie (his son is).
Jack Frost (aka Snow Dad)
i loved this movie. it's about how batman turned into a snowman. there is a really sad kid who's batmandad goes away on trips with his friends too much. after batmandad turns into a snowman he is a snowdad and they spend quality time together. i liked this movie cause it was really dramatic. if you liked the first half of look who's talking 2, i did too!
fun fact: on the laser disc version of this movie, pause it at the 3 hour and 45 minute mark. you will see a picture of steven spielberg and robin williams sharing a slice of chicago deep dish pizza.
i loved this movie. it's about how batman turned into a snowman. there is a really sad kid who's batmandad goes away on trips with his friends too much. after batmandad turns into a snowman he is a snowdad and they spend quality time together. i liked this movie cause it was really dramatic. if you liked the first half of look who's talking 2, i did too!
fun fact: on the laser disc version of this movie, pause it at the 3 hour and 45 minute mark. you will see a picture of steven spielberg and robin williams sharing a slice of chicago deep dish pizza.
Mighty Ducks 2: The New Batch
i loved this movie. it's about a rag tag group of misfits who play hockey. the best part is that most of them don't know what hockey is. the asian does funny little ice dances and the cowboy ropes people during the game. i saw all these moves performed in olympic hockey before, so i wasn't very surprised, but i still enjoyed the movie. i also liked that disney hired some inner city youth to be in the movie. i don't think everyone should have to be on welfare. some inner city youth should be allowed to be in at least 1 disney movie.
fun fact: disney is racist.
Space Jam
i loved this movie. it stars scotty pippen and the cast of the looney tunes. scotty gets in gambling trouble when he bets that he can dunk over the looney tunes. then michael jordan shows up and throws hanes underwears at everyone. if you saw this in the theater, there was a wacky gag where hanes underwear fell from the ceiling. only 2 people died while making this movie and it is rumored that scotty pippen's ghost still haunts the warner bros lot.
fun fact: shaq isn't in this movie.
i loved this movie. it stars scotty pippen and the cast of the looney tunes. scotty gets in gambling trouble when he bets that he can dunk over the looney tunes. then michael jordan shows up and throws hanes underwears at everyone. if you saw this in the theater, there was a wacky gag where hanes underwear fell from the ceiling. only 2 people died while making this movie and it is rumored that scotty pippen's ghost still haunts the warner bros lot.
fun fact: shaq isn't in this movie.
First Kid
i loved this movie. it stars sinbad. he plays a secret service man that becomes best friends with a lil white boy who is the presidents boyfriend. then he goes back to school with him and makes giant spitballs. sinbad is hilarious and actually learns a lot going back to school (including the art of stand up comedy).
fun fact: sinbad can be seen at mcdonalds regularly. you will usually see him buying double cheesies and earings or dying his hair orange with ronald.
i loved this movie. it stars sinbad. he plays a secret service man that becomes best friends with a lil white boy who is the presidents boyfriend. then he goes back to school with him and makes giant spitballs. sinbad is hilarious and actually learns a lot going back to school (including the art of stand up comedy).
fun fact: sinbad can be seen at mcdonalds regularly. you will usually see him buying double cheesies and earings or dying his hair orange with ronald.
The Godfather
i loved this movie. this is a tv movie that is always on tbs. it stars mark wahlberg, leonardo dicaprio and ray liota. the movie is about how leo dicappy joins the thug life. it's probably the best tv movie i've ever seen.
fun fact: this is leonardo dicaprio's first movie.
Doc Hollywood
i loved this movie. marty mcfly is back and now he's a doctor. he gets his time machine in a car crash and ends up in the 1950's again. they need a doctor and the women need lovin so he's all "i'm the fly guy for the job". doc brown isn't in this movie because marty mcfly is the new doctor now.
dvd feature: behind the scenes on time travel
Titanic
i loved this movie. it's about people that live on a boat. some people are rich and other people are poor. when the boat sinks all the poor people turn into ice cubes. the best part is when leo dicapy (who you might recognize from the godfather tv movie on tbs) says "i'll be back". he ends up dying, but it is a touching moment.
fun fact: the two tape vhs version is in 3D
i loved this movie. it's about people that live on a boat. some people are rich and other people are poor. when the boat sinks all the poor people turn into ice cubes. the best part is when leo dicapy (who you might recognize from the godfather tv movie on tbs) says "i'll be back". he ends up dying, but it is a touching moment.
fun fact: the two tape vhs version is in 3D
Lord of the Rings 2: the Legend of Curly's Gold
i loved this movie. it's all about a quest these guys go on. they have to find curlys gold. in the middle of the movie there is a giant keyboard in a toy store. they play chopsticks and a portal opens up and they find the lord of the rings. curly is there and he's hilarious. this movie is only available on four disc laser disk.
content warning: curly's gold is actually his dick.
Uncle Buck
i loved this movie. uncle buck is this guy that makes huge pancakes that are the size of a dinosaur. he's always hangin out with kevin when his parents are out of town. i love the part where uncle fuck does the laundry in the garbage can. uncle buck is actually home alone 0. rent this movie if you liked any movies with jamie fox.
fun fact: the big lebowski is a remake of uncle buck.
Uncle Buck 2: The Great Outdoors
i loved this movie. uncle buck is back! eli roth directed this torture porn/comedy epic about a man that is forced to eat the biggest steak in history. if he doesn't eat the steak, then santa clause (played by al from home improvement) will die. watching kevin mccallister root for uncle buck again really made me wanna do my laundry in the sink. A+
The Sandlot Triology
i loved these movies. egghead scotty smalls just moved to town and he's about to become darth vader. in the first movie, scotty agrees to get molested by the old darth vader for a ken griffy jr autographed rookie card. he becomes the new darth vader and has a ginger fat son. in the end, they all start a baseball team called tha lakers. A+
Good Will Hunting
i loved this movie. matt damon plays a lil boy named willy. robin williams plays a guy with a beard. the guy with the beard has to teach willy how to hunt. the best line in the movie is "how bout some apples". it's really funny and if you like movies where matt damon runs away from people, you'll really enjoy good willy huntin. A+
The Matrix
i loved this movie. it's all about bill and ted. they have to save the world by going into a computer. the cgi is amazing and there are animated gifs and jpgs flying around everywhere! this movie introduced a new technology called "bullet vision" which makes you feel like a bullet. i've never wanted to be a bullet before, but now i'm going to college for it. A+
i loved this movie. it's all about bill and ted. they have to save the world by going into a computer. the cgi is amazing and there are animated gifs and jpgs flying around everywhere! this movie introduced a new technology called "bullet vision" which makes you feel like a bullet. i've never wanted to be a bullet before, but now i'm going to college for it. A+
Forest Gump
i loved this movie. it's all about tommy hanks childhood. who knew that he did so much! i really liked all the old timey footage that the director downloaded from thesmithsonian.gov. it's a very great learning experience, but be warned. there are some very serious parts about aids, black people and shrimp. A+
